A Letter from Sarah to Sarah by Jeff

To the person who has come into possession of my body,

My name is Sarah MacPhail.

If you are reading this, it means that I am suffering from amnesia as a result of emotional stress, head trauma, or alien technology. I have been likely working in a sweat shop or hooking on the streets (because as a result of the amnesia I’ve lost all sense of my personal morality) or at a Burger King. You may have found me in Bolivia or one of Bolivia’s neighbouring countries. But you should know that I do not belong here, and while I don’t remember who I am, this letter has been crafted to remind me how to get home even though I’m suffering from this foreseeable bout of amnesia.

While it’s hard to know what amnesia Sarah will be like, it’s important that we both know who the real Sarah is. I am actually Canadian and Baptist. I have a Bachelor of Public Relations from Mount St. Vincent University. I have lived all over the Maritimes including Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia. My roommates name is Heidi and I am currently living in Halifax, NS. My best friend is named Jeff deViller. I guess Becky Ackerman also ranks on that list... just lower than Jeff. And I mean, there are other people too, but I have amnesia and I shouldn’t have to remember everyone right away.

If reading this letter has not brought me back to my normal senses, just talk about Jesus and play a Hanson CD and I should be fine.

While I am in your care, please do not let me:

§ Get a tattoo (Unless, of course, if it includes Jeff’s name and/or a reference to Jesus)

§ Hurt small animals or children (I love animals and children!)

§ Drink toilet water (I’ve never done this, but it just seems like a bad idea!)

§ Be pessimistic (Just because you don’t remember where you came from, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time!)

§ Kiss any boys (Seventy-two is enough!!!)

That should just about cover it. If none of this works, please seal me in a crate (air holes please!) with a self address, stamped envelope and send me to one of the following addresses. They’ll send back postage.

Go with Jesus,

Sarah Jane